3 Simple Steps to Transform Jealousy into Self-Confidence…
"Jealousy is the fear of comparison."
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… We are programmed to be jealous. When we are born, we don’t feel the separation and still are so connected to our Higher Self that all worlds seem as one.
However when we start to identify, that we have a separate body we also start in many ways identifying ourselves as separate from everything and everybody. This feeling gets even stronger when we have siblings and receive different treatment from our parents and others. Regardless if the treatment is pleasant or unpleasant.
The feeling of separation grows even deeper when we start the school and start noticing that not only body makes as different, also the way we learn, the way we gain or loose friends, the way others treat us, the way we succeed…
There is no wonder that when we grow up with this already established feeling of separateness, we develop jealousy and a strong desire to compete, which creates a lot of heart aches, pain and suffering.
So how can we free ourselves from this Green Monster called jealousy and find our self-confidence, self-worth and inner positive calm?
This is what is good to remember. The feeling of jealousy never comes from your higher self and lower self or ego creates it. Because lower self is connected and identifies itself with mind, and so makes everything separate.
However we have to pay a close attention to the feeling of jealousy when it arises. The reason for this is that once we can become aware of it and feel it, just by absorbing it without resistance, we also will be able to work on it and transform it.
…Often people ignore what they feel and sometimes are not even conscious of what exactly they are feeling. What happens is, that they develop a cover for their hidden feelings, and so they manifest themselves in an unexpected and undesired way.
Here I’ll give you an example:
…Let’s say you’ve been jealous about your friend’s perfect life. Your friend has a spouse and 3 children, but you on the other hand are still single and your dream was to have a big family. You want to be happy for your friend but deep down you are still comparing her life to yours and feel incomplete. You hide this feeling of jealousy for many years and so one day you have a general conversation with your friend and suddenly all that hidden stuff comes up and you say something that is so painful for your friend and also for yourself, that you eventually lose your friendship. You feel the pain and don’t understand why this happened and where this all came from so suddenly. However it was actually not suddenly as the feeling was hidden so deep inside and it surfaced once something triggered it.
This is how our hidden emotions can surface when we ignore them and don’t transform them. By ignoring them, we are not helping ourselves, but we are rather sabotaging ourselves my friend.
It is a huge subject, but these 3 simple steps will help you on the way to use jealousy in your favor. Now let’s look at how we can transform the jealousy to self-confidence in 3 simple steps…
3 Simple Steps to Transform Jealousy into Self-Confidence…
#1 Acknowledge and accept the feeling of jealousy.
Be ok with it and just let it be. It is nothing unnatural. Don’t feel ashamed of it and shy away, call it bad or negative. The more you will hide it the bigger it will grow and surface at the wrong time and make your life misery.
#2 Discover the feeling of jealousy.
Now this is time of the discovery. It is amazing what we can learn from this strong feeling. Once we are aware of it and now know and accept that it is as it is and agree that we are jealous, we also are able now to look deeper and find some very important messages. The best is if you could write it down. Start writing the reasons of feeling the jealousy. It is not always negative or positive to feel jealous. So by looking at it closely we can uncover an important message and so even create a new direction in our lives.
#3 Transform the feeling into Self-Confidence and Self-Worth.
The feeling of separateness is what really creates jealousy. It is just an indication that you have to find time to re-connect to your loving, caring, joyous Higher Self, so take some time and pamper yourself with compliments, love, relaxation, nice food, music and look at the same situation with new, loving and compassionate eyes.
Go within and ask what is that hidden clue for you to feel the jealousy.
- Is it something that you wanted to accomplish and didn’t act on, however there is someone else who did?
- Is it something you want to do?
- Are you playing too small?
This is a great opportunity to look at your life and see what is that you really want and get inspiration form the person you are jealous at. Use this and take action on something you want to do.
You are unique and nobody is exactly the same. You will never be happy and fulfilled when taking place of somebody else. So whatever others are doing and succeeding at you still have your own unique path to travel. Only by realizing this fact it should make you realize your self-worth.
… One of my friends I was jealous of once, today is dying from cancer… and then I think and have to forgive myself for being so shortsighted and mean, to ever had this feeling towards her.
What I wanted to say is that we never know what life has in store.
Please next time the Green Monster ~ jealousy find you unexpected use those 3 STEPS.
Let’s do this together.
Now is your turn, please share your thoughts, concerns or stories in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.
Solvita Bennett is sharing her wisdom with people from different backgrounds to find their Inner Peace and Happiness. With more than 20 years of study and practice of Personal Growth coupled with more than 10 years experience in professional teaching gives her the ability to share her ‘Secrets to Inner Peace’ in a Simple, Easy and Practical way.
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