Transform Insecurity into Self-Confidence with 2 STEPS

by Solvita Bennett on April 29, 2012

Discover these 2 STEPS from Insecurity to Self-Confidence NOW…

"Most people are mirrors, reflecting the moods and emotions of the times. Some people are windows, bringing light to bear on the dark corners where troubles fester. The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows."

Sydney J. Harris

 

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Dear Friend,

…The feeling of insecurity can easily overwhelm us, especially when others treat us in a way we think, we don’t deserve.

…When we feel insecure, we also create a lot of problems and suffering in our lives, as we don’t feel free, confident and strong to take the actions we need in order to live with joy and fulfillment.

We all know how when we meet some people and feel they are being too critical, negative or even ignorant towards us, we become self-critical and as a result – insecure. This is due to a perception of life we have at the time. Let’s say you see your old friend on the street and he ignores you. When you feel confident and in a good mood, you just put it down to not seeing you, however when you are feeling insecure, your mind goes over and over that situation, looking for faults in you and your old friend. It makes you feel bad and so you lose your joy and inner peace.

We have all felt insecure at some time in our lives, including myself of course. The question is how can we effectively deal with this discouraging feeling and rise above, so that we can get back into our freedom and feeling of joy, strength, power, and confidence… Which connects us to the Universe, God or Source.

Today I’ll share with you some useful tips; you could use to transform feeling of insecurity into a feeling of natural self-confidence.

We all are attracting what we are being or feeling and the best way to know what it is, is by paying attention on how we feel when we interact with other people. You may have heard before that people are like mirrors of our inner state of being and they reflect what we feel. This is especially true; when it comes to the people we are very close to. Our state of being can change very often; it all depends on how we are managing ourselves.

It all depends of how and what we think most of the time, or in other words, what are our thought habits. Positive thinking is something that doesn’t come to us naturally, it takes an effort to master it for most of us. So why do I talk about this? It is very important to understand, that we have power over our habits of thinking and so we also have power over insecurities.

When we feel vulnerable, discouraged and down, our perception changes and also our inner state of being will reflect this on the outside and through the people we interact with. More people all of a sudden will appear in our presence, which will confirm our insecurity. So in order to change the feeling, we can’t do this by changing the outside conditions or people, but rather go within and start changing our inner state of being. As you may know, we attract exactly what we feel.

So when we feel unworthy, are ignored, unloved or in other words not good enough, we must start looking within.

Now let’s look at the 2 STEPS to Transform Insecurity into Self-Confidence…

2 STEPS to Transform Insecurity into Self-Confidence.

#1 Stepping into your Power.

So what is it stepping into your power? It is important at this point to take full responsibility of how you feel, without any blame on others. So how to go about it? Well… what ever happens from outside is an effect of something that has been going on inside, it is a law of nature. I’ve mentioned this law many times before, but it is important to remember.

When we look at any conditions or people we interact with, it has been brought to us through our vibration, or in other words through our beliefs. Our beliefs are formed by our dominant thoughts or thought habits…

… We have the ability to choose what we think and so create different conditions. This is stepping into your power. Acknowledge that we can’t do anything about how other people act, behave or feel towards us, but through our constant effort of changing the habits of thinking we can then attract people that will act, behave and interact with us on the same POSITIVE level.

So now let’s go back at the example I mentioned earlier, where someone you know refused to acknowledge you and now you feel insecure.

First, in some way there was something that made you attract this person in the first place, or you wouldn’t meet. It is not bad to experience something like that, this only means that you now can look within and see what’s going on with your thinking and question, is there something now that you could change.

This is how people become our mirrors and reflect back to us exactly what we are feeling in a moment.

#2 Creating a list of “ideal feelings”.

We all need to be appreciated and loved. It is natural for every human being. However when we can’t find these feelings towards us first, it is truly impossible to believe that others will have these feelings towards us either.

It is hard when we feel insecure, however to get out of this we can’t focus on any thoughts that make us feel this way. You may know that what ever we focus on expands, and so in order to get rid of feelings that are not serving us, we have to replace with feelings that lift us up.

One of most powerful methods is to create a list of feelings that we think are our ideal. Imagine what kind of person you would become with a set of “ideal feelings”. In other words every act is preceded by thought and your dominating thoughts will determine your dominating actions. The dominating actions will become your habits and so become part of your being and character. This is how you can transform your habit of feeling insecure into a feeling of self-confidence my friend.

This is a good time to use affirmations, map out the values you admire in a person the most and think, how the person with those values would act, behave and be, and so you follow that ideal in a real life.

Here are some affirmations you could use:

“People really like me, and I like people too.

I see only the best in every person that I interact.

I see a lot of potential in others and me.

People are happy to see me every time.

I am love and approve of myself.

I enjoy seeing people.

I bring light and happiness to every conversation.

I am joyful and content.

I know who I am.

I am and I can.

I love people and people love me.

I like to meet people.

I am positive.”

You can create your own list that would suit your situation, or pick out some affirmations from above.

However affirmations should be used with emotions attached to them, or they will not work.

It is not that easy to change your thought patterns, as our mind likes to follow the habits of thoughts that have already been created. However the mind is flexible and loves habits, so you can completely transform your feeling of insecurity by forming a new pattern of thought. You will fail to begin with, but you will succeed when persistently repeating and thinking the same positive thoughts.

Once you are clear of your "ideal thoughts" to replace your insecurity with optimism and self-confidence, keep practicing all the time, until it becomes your new habit and so part of your character my friend.

You are SO MUCH MORE than the mind can conceive … never let your mind master you, you are the MASTER of your mind my friend and Life is here for you to enjoy.

Let’s do this together. :)

Now is your turn, please share your thoughts, concerns or stories in the comment section below. I’d love to hear from you.

________________________________

  Solvita Bennett is sharing her wisdom with people from different backgrounds to find their Inner Peace and Happiness. With more than 20 years of study and practice of Personal Growth coupled with more than 10 years experience in professional teaching gives her the ability to share her ‘Secrets to Inner Peace’ in a Simple, Easy and Practical way.

Research shows that more than 95% of people lead their lives with worry. Don’t let this happen to you! Get your FREE copy of her Special Report “7 MASTER KEYS TO SOLVE THE WORRY" now.

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{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }

Hughie Bagnell April 29, 2012

Hi Solvita…Excellent and very inspirational article! A great list of ‘Affirmations’…Thank you for sharing! .. Hughie :)

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Thank you Hughie for your kind comment! It is so wonderful you stopped by! :)

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Susan McKenzie April 30, 2012

Hi Solvita!

I especially like what you said here: “… We have the ability to choose what we think and so create different conditions. This is stepping into your power. Acknowledge that we can’t do anything about how other people act, behave or feel towards us, but through our constant effort of changing the habits of thinking we can then attract people that will act, behave and interact with us on the same POSITIVE level.”

So many of us find ourselves in trouble over and over when we feel insecure and powerless. Getting right to the core of it, in our thoughts, is a skill we all certainly need. Thank you for lighting the way!

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Hi Susan, yes… the thoughts and a positive mindset is something that we can change regardless of our past conditioning and situations. This is what this all website is about. We can step into our power with the right attitude and train ourselves to rise above our day today challenges. It is amazing to see you here my friend! Thank you so much for stopping by! :)

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Anastasiya Day April 30, 2012

I love reading your articles Solvita! I agree with Hughie ~ Excellent and very inspirational post. :)

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Thank you Anastasiya! :)

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Sharon O'Day May 1, 2012

Finding where the insecurity comes from, Solvita, is such an important part of moving toward self-confidence. So often it’s something as simple as misunderstood messaging picked up during childhood … and then fed by our natural tendency to seek out proof of our feelings in our everyday world.

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

So true Sharon, it is natural for us to seek out proof of our feelings and so we have to work on our emotions and do the best we can to build up a positive perception and mindset, which would help us rather than sabotage our life and success.
Thank you a lot for your insightful response. :)

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Sherry Nouraini May 1, 2012

Great article Solvita! I especially love the quote you provide in the beginning!

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Thank you Sherry, appreciate your comment and see you soon back again!

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Terressa Cortez May 1, 2012

Great article. I love reading about how to bettter ourselves by being positive and using affirmations. It truly works.

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Thank you Terressa, it works well indeed! Thank you for stopping by! :)

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Genevieve Lachance May 2, 2012

I love that “We all are attracting what we are being or feeling “. That’s so true! Changing the way we think is especially important to create positive changes in our lives. Thanks so much for the wonderful article.

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Thank you Genevieve, appreciate your comment.

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Martha Giffen May 2, 2012

This is such a powerful post! Every thought we have determines what we really think about ourselves and where we direct our future. The work you are doing is of the utmost important! Keep it up!

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Thank you Martha! I am honored you enjoy my articles, have a wonderful day! :)

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Lisa Birnesser May 2, 2012

Once again, such an inspirational post! I loved “we have power over our habits of thinking and so we also have power over insecurities.” This is such a key piece in developing confidence. Thanks, Solvita!

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Thank you Lisa for your kind comment! It is awesome to see you here!

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Sally K Witt, Social Media and Ministry May 2, 2012

What a great blog. It is wonderful that you are sharing love and positive energy!

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Thank you Sally! :)

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elizabeth Maness May 2, 2012

I love the ideal feelings idea! I try to do this and it does help! I am going to listen now to the voice of an angel!

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Thank you Elizabeth! I am so glad you listen to the audio too! :)

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Helena May 2, 2012

Another great article Solvita! I love the affirmations — very positive and uplifting!

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Thank you Lena, it is wonderful you stopped by!

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Denise Sonnenberg May 2, 2012

I like to listen to my affirmations before I go to sleep. I seem to sleep more soundly.

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Absolutely Denise, it is one of the best times, as in whatever mood we go to sleep, we wake up where we left…so in other words our brain still works on the last thoughts we had before we fell asleep. It is such a wise thing to do. Thank you for your comment! :)

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Claudia Looi May 3, 2012

Inspirational post, Solvita. I especially like the affirmations which will transform the energy and atmosphere around us. Thanks.

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Thank you Claudia, it is great to see you here and glad you enjoyed my article!

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Deeone Higgs May 3, 2012

Inspiring post, Solvita! You are so right, a lot of times it’s our moods that direct us to feel certain feelings. One incident can potentially have several different outcomes depending on the mood we’re in at the time. We have to constantly be mindful of our moods to assist us in dealing with those insecurities we feel at any given moment. I loved the example you shared about the passing by of a friend on the street. That really drove the point home for me. Another great post, my friend. Thanks for sharing your insights on this.

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Solvita Bennett May 5, 2012

Thank you Deeone, so nice to hear you enjoyed my article and it resonated with you too! Appreciate your comments as always!

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Mandy Edwards May 6, 2012

Thank you for providing such inspirational and uplifting articles!

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Solvita Bennett May 13, 2012

Thank you Mandy! :)

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Lisa Duffy May 12, 2012

Hi Solvita
Wow what an empowering post thank you! Remembering how our thoughts develop into actions was refreshing for me, and learning how our dominant thoughts generate dominant actions leading to us developing habits is really enlightening – the penny dropped! The way you explained how we can empower ourselves by stepping into our power by simply taking full responsibility of our feelings & create new thinking habits is really uplifting. Thanks Solvita

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Solvita Bennett May 13, 2012

Hi Lisa! It is so awesome you stopped by… it is possible to change our thinking habits, I’ve done this myself, it is not easy, but as I say with persistence and repetition, it becomes a part of your character and then shows up in your actions too. The beginning is hard, but a habit is a habit and we don’t have to make any effort, once it becomes a part of us! So great to see you here my dear friend! x

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mark... January 12, 2013

Hi solvita,
You are right… It is very hard though to say ‘ it wasn’t my fault’
My insecurity comes from a previous relationship. One where i literally tried everything to make it work but in the end had to leave and move on with my life….
Now in with a new partner, is it really hard to see the good things… The insecurity has come back and is atm ruling me…
I’m a very caring man and i know its really shooting myself in the foot, most of my friends and hers have now judged me on the outside actions… Ones that i know are born of frustration and have are no reflection of the man i am and want to be.
I need to change. I know whats wrong, but i cannot calm myself down….
Im really clingy one moment and the opposite straight after to compensate…
Really hard yo talk. …..
Everytime i feel frustrated will find a moment to listen to the audio… Try and get to a place where i can let things go ftom the past and hopefully create a real future with the woman i love.
Thanks so much for the article
Mark.

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Solvita Bennett January 13, 2013

Thank you Mark for sharing your situation. It is not easy… clinging part is the part of our lower self or ego, which is very strong and without good, helping belief system, hard to overcome. You know as you say, you are not the man you act like and that is true. We can however develop and cultivate our character and make our own belief system. It requires a lot of awareness and it looks like you’ve got that already. The best way to relax is to be confident within and so develop complete trust in you as a good – worthy person, your real you. You can listen to the audio here: http://www.positivecalm.com/how-to-find-inner-peace-through-trust/ … it may help more. It is good you are soaking up some nice things on this website, I really appreciate it. :)

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