Secret Power Within a Failure – Discovering Inner Positive Calm.

by Solvita Bennett on April 29, 2011

How to Find The Secret Power Within a Failure and Access Inner Positive Calm.

"The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure."

Sven Goran Erikkson

In this article I'm going to remind you about the ways you can find the secret power of a failure.

…When I think about failure I have to smile, as when I was a teacher in a school I had to critique the performance of my students OFTEN and to be honest most of the time point out their mistakes. It is not a nice position to be in when I deep down knew that mistakes should be made, as there is no other way to learn anything. When you understand the concept of it, you will understand the importance of accepting mistakes as part of your success. …When I started to learn a new language, the part of the process is pure failure and making mistake after mistake. When you start speaking it you are not going to sound 'perfect'. So many times people find it very hard to make 'fools' of themselves especially in front of others. As when we think that other people will judge us and find funny – our ego is challenged at the deepest level. I have a friend who wanted to learn a foreign language and could never overcome that challenge, she would read and listen, but so afraid of talking, that it was the only barrier which held her back forever. Sadly for many people making a mistake makes them paralyzed and they stop themselves overcoming this limiting and self sabotaging belief that 'it is not good to make mistakes'. Well it is only a belief, and as you may know this is not bad news at all. Beliefs are there to be challenged and there are ways to change them and start experiencing freedom of letting yourself try new exciting things in life. So that you can experience growth and positive inner calm.

The history of the greatest successes has shown that only by making numerous failures in their lives people could achieve something very significant, which could make a massive impact in the world. If you just look back at the failures of Abraham Lincoln, it is no surprise that he became the man he did. When you look at the failures of Thomas Alva Edison before he invented the light bulb. His very famous quote about failure:

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Thomas A. Edison

Thomas Edison had an incredibly positive attitude about failure. When he was questioned as to why so many of his experiments were failures, he responded by saying that he never had a failure in any of his experiments, rather, each experiment helped him discover another way that something would not work. In reality, sometimes the only way to know whether you've succeeded is to fail.

…When something doesn't go our way, we often start to criticize ourselves. This is simply a habit we have and it is picked up from our past experiences especially when we were little, and our parents used to judge us too harsh. When you were told as a little child similar statements to: "You stupid idiot, you messed it up again!", "When are you going to learn!"…. It is easy, especially when we are small, to pick up the statements and carry on using them as they would be our own. Today is the time to listen what language do you use, when you realize that you've made a mistake. Very often people like to be critical on themselves and they talk to themselves in such a way that they wouldn't ever talk to their closest friend. That keeps them in a fear and the reality is they become less willing to try new adventures, they become victims and hold themselves small and as insignificant as possible…. Only because of the FEAR OF FAILURE.

7 Steps to leave the 'fear of failure' and discover the Power of it.

1. List the failures you had in your life so far, which made you do something courageous and significant. I know you will find many. It is good to recognize them and appreciate for the lesson you were able to learn thanks to the mistakes you made.

2. Appreciate every mistake you made. It helped you grow and evolve, it gave you opportunity to learn and experience something new.

3. From now on watch the way you talk to yourself when you make even a slightest mistake. Soften your tone of voice in your head. Use kind statements such as: "OK this didn't go well this time, but at least I know what to do the next time.", " It was amusing watching myself to talk Spanish, I know I can't yet speak properly, but I'm getting there.", " It looked silly, but I had such a fun.".

4. Think of something you wanted to do for a long time, but had a Fear of Failure to do. Imagine yourself doing it and being OK to carry on even if it is not perfect and you make some mistakes on the way.

5. Make notes about the new things you are going to do. If you don't do anything new, and are scared of trying you can't learn the art of being OK with your failure. It is important that you can accept that mistakes are  just a part of learning, they are there to help you grow and achieve.

6. Make a decision to do one of the most important things from the Step 5.

7. Write down the date and don't miss it :) It should be within 7 days.

…Be willing to fail and relax towards it … you might surprise yourself that when you actually are OK with failure, the things work out so much better.

We build  big 'failure pictures' in our minds and get all stressed about them so we become like prisoners to our own minds. In reality, it's not the successes that make you a stronger, more successful person; it's the failures. This may sound odd, but each failure you have is actually a success.

You Can Only Appreciate Success After You've Failed! In there are great ways to deal with a disappointment when you have failed.
Starting to accept mistakes as a part of success can be tough for adults as well as for children. But everyone experiences failure at some point in their lives and teaching our children how to deal with the disappointment is a critical life lesson.
Can you imagine a young adult, either a teen or college student, dealing with their first failures in the workplace? A tantrum at any age is not appealing, never mind from an adult who should know better.
Consider the very wise words of Winston Churchill who said, "Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." What did he mean exactly? Well here are three reasons why failing is a good thing:

  • Inspiration – Before you laugh, think about your childhood when you didn't get something right the first time. What did you do? Tried again and again! Each time the thought in your head was, "I am going to get it right this time!" What better motivation do you need?

  • Humility – No one is perfect, sometimes we need to be reminded of that very fact! Can you imagine a world where no one ever failed and we all walked around thinking we were God's gift to the world?

  • Learning – Success makes you feel good, but failing teaches you a lesson. Think back to the first time you swung a bat, learned to walk, or tried to eat with a fork. Did you do it right the first time? Of course not. Did you figure out with each failure what you were doing wrong? Well if you can swing a bat today, walk and eat with a fork then I guess you did!

Failure brings positive change and success to those who are resilient. You can embrace mistakes as part of your life and be kind to yourself. When you are kind the time you make a mistake it gives you inner positive calm, as you know that you are on the way to success and you are brave, powerful being. You can fail and that's part of life, you can learn from it – BIG DEAL – and open doors to greatness.

Please you are welcome to share your thoughts in the comment section below. I'd love to hear from you :)

  Solvita Bennett is sharing her wisdom with people from different backgrounds to find their Inner Peace and Happiness. With more than 20 years of study and practice of Personal Growth coupled with more than 10 years experience in professional teaching gives her the ability to share her ‘Secrets to Inner Peace’ in a Simple, Easy and Practical way.

Research shows that more than 95% of people lead their lives with worry. Don’t let this happen to you! Get your FREE copy of her Special Report “7 MASTER KEYS TO SOLVE THE WORRY" now.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Victoria April 30, 2011

These are great reminders about the power of failure.  I always think of that Edison story and whether I'd have had the wherewithal to stick to it like he did.  Unfortunately, I think not.  But then again, I haven't found that 'thing' yet…  Thanks for this!

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Solvita May 1, 2011

Victoria, thanks for stopping by! It’s only up to you, once you know exactly what you want to achieve, the mistakes are only stepping stones on the way to your goal!

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Sue Graber April 30, 2011

Great  post – I love the quote from Thomas Edison: "I have not failed,  I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work.   Failures are simply stepping stones to success.   Thanks for the reminder!

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Solvita May 1, 2011

Thanks Sue for your comments! It’s nice to see you here :)

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Carol Giambri April 30, 2011

Solvita, Heard Edison quote before, believe it and love it.  Failure is not trying–it's the not quitting that counts.  Thanks for this confirmed wisdom.  Even as a "golden" I'm still breathing so not giving up what is around the corner for me.  If I stop or think of it as failing, then I have lost! I embrace failure but to move ahead only. Great post.

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Solvita May 1, 2011

Thank you Carol, yes – sometimes I need gentle reminders too, to keep myself focused… I’m glad you enjoyed reading. :)

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Claudia Looi May 1, 2011

Great points Solvita. Reminded me of one quote that I read today by Woody Allen: If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. Playing it safe is a really bad place to me. I have failed many times, pick myself up and learn and move on. Good 7 points you have given.

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Solvita May 5, 2011

Thanks Claudia! You have such a great attitude! … there is no failure it is only success. When you do what you want and when it serves you and others, then you know that nothing can stop you :)

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Michele May 5, 2011

Solvita,
What a great post. I wish everyone could really take these points to heart every day. I think just remembering the Thomas Edison post is a start. Thank You!

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Solvita May 5, 2011

It’s nice to see you here Michele! These points are good to remember, as it gives more strength and power to move on and do what you want to do :)

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