Positive Self-Image Leads to Positive Inner Calm and Confidence.

by Solvita Bennett on April 8, 2011

You Can Create Your Own Positive Self-Image, So You Can Lead Your Life With Confidence and Inner Positive Calm…

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered,

forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,

people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives,

be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies,

succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you,

be honest and frank anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous,

be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow,

do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough,

give you best anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God,

It was never between you and them anyway.”

Mother Teresa

… Dear Friend,

…In this article I am going to talk about the ways we create our Self-Image and about the enormous influence of that creation in our daily life.

"Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment."

Maxwell Matz

What is Self-Image? …We start creating our Self-Image from a start of our lives. It is influenced by our parents, pears, sisters, brothers, relatives, friends, school, media…the list goes on and on…If we create a positive Self-Image, I mean the one which serves us the best – it's OK. What happens more often though is that we create a negative Self-Image, which in return restricts and sabotages us. Your Self-Image is your inner mirror and psychological blueprint of yourself. It is like a map with boundaries and restrictions. This map is created by yourself. The way you imagine yourself is so powerful that it either helps you to succeed or holds you back.
Imagination is more powerful than knowledge and willpower and your body responds to it. When you want your heart to beat faster and you would like to apply self-discipline, it would be very hard to do, however at the same time, if you imagine that you are walking through a dark and dangerous place –  it will!
So when we create a Self-Image about ourselves it is more powerful, than you probably can imagine. As it is so hidden in your subconscious mind, that you don’t even notice. Not in every areas of your life you have a poor or good Self–Image. You might have a very good Self-Image as a parent, a friend, a driver, an actor, a singer and at the same time poor Self-Image as a person in a close relationship with someone else.
… Let’s say that you are very successful in your business and earn a good living, if your Self-Image about yourself is as a person, who is not deserving the wealth, or feeling ashamed about earning more than some one else in your family – you will do what ever it takes to get rid of the extra money by giving all to the charity, family members, church or will be spending on silly items…you will find the way :), as we  never deviate from our Self-Image and do it unconsciously.

The same happens, when we create in our minds a Self-Image that we are not 'attractive'. It is not very helpful as what ever we will do other people will see us the same way. You probably noticed how sometimes some not very good looking people seam charismatic, and there is an aura about them which make them attractive and likable…this is how they have created their self-image and so it radiates outwards. And at the same time there are very good looking people, who have one plastic surgery after one other and still feeling unhappy about their looks and feel unattractive…and this is due to the mirror, which they create from inside about themselves – an internal Self-Image.
…So how we radiate the Self-Image outwards. It happens unconsciously through our body language, tone of voice and emotions. When you are expressing your thoughts and they are in agreement with your  internal Self-Image, it is called congruency or authenticity….Let's say someone is offering you a service and is not truly believing of the quality, worth and delivery, even when all the right things are said it will feel that something is not right. We pick up signals from others all the time. So we can tell if the person is telling the truth and is congruent or we have a feeling of something being not exactly as it seams…
It is good to have a positive Self-Image that would help you. The good news is that you can actually alter or create a new Self-Image. Many people have done it and so can you :)
There are many methods to exercise and work on your Self-Image and with time you can find the best way and method that suits you.

Here are 7 steps you could start with today:

1. Identify one area of your life where you think you have a poor Self-Image. What is the area you think your Self-Image is  letting you down and you have a burning desire to change it.
2. Forgive yourself and others for creating this poor Self-Image. You know that we are influenced since we are children, and so we make our agreements about what we should be like. As soon as you make that agreement it becomes yours and gets hidden deep in your subconscious mind and so it becomes a part of your Self-Image. The easiest way to free yourself from it, is to forgive you and others for creating it, so you can move forwards and start altering or building a new, better serving Self-Image.
  …Let’s say you are looking at the cover of a magazine with airbrushed models on it and suddenly feel that you are not attractive, this is how easy you can be influenced….and once you accept it as true to yourself it becomes a part of a Self-Image (agreements you make with yourself find a home in the subconscious mind)
3. Think of the way you would like your new Self-Image to be. Now imagine one other you, this time  the ideal you as you would like to be, behave and look. If you find it difficult, you can exercise and become better at imagination. It is amazing power in creative thinking and in many areas of your life. You are using it all the time without realizing anyway, however it might be something which is actually holding you back. As soon as you can take control over your imagination, you can reshape your life, I'm not talking about magical thinking. It is focused and structured thinking.
4. Imagine your Ideal Self as vividly as possible. Spend some time and think how it would be, feel, look like.
5. Merge into your imagined new Self-Image. Imagine floating into your new image as you would put a new jacket on.
6. Now imagine how do you feel and what would you like to do as the new Ideal Self. Think how that person would behave and do things or how the new you would interact with others.
7. Use this technique for at least 2 weeks, so that you can become comfortable. When you play with your imagination, you can alter the Self-Image to suit you better before merging with it.
It might sound a bit strange and even feel strange when you use imagination if it is first time…please don't feel discouraged! It will become easier with time and practise, so you can use it more often and with more ease…

… I use this technique when I feel that I need to change my body, loose some excess weight and have it fitter. I imagine myself the way I would look when I would achieve the desired result. I keep this image in my mind as often as I can, especially when doing exercises or reaching for some food. :)

It is such an assistance, nothing could motivate me more as the image I can create in my mind…the good news is – it works every single time. This is how I can actually control the way I look and feel.

Pay attention to your Self-Image, when you become aware how your Self-Image is restricting or sabotaging you in a way you don't feel happy about, you know that you are not the only one, people do it all the time. However there are many people who have altered and successfully changed it. It might be through work on themselves or with help from someone else, such as coaches, friends, mentors….

You just need to know that you have the power to change it. Start today take charge of it now. If you will not be in charge of your internal map you create about yourself, then someone else will, be protective of what you want your psychological blueprint to be. How often people with a very low self-esteem or ego driven – over confident undermine you and are the first to tell what things are wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you and you are an amazing human being, just open your mind to have the ability to see it. Allow the appreciation to start with yourself and it will then spread around you, it will become contagious. People will appreciate you and possibilities will start to appear in your life, the cooperation you never thought existed…

Let’s do this together!

Please share your thoughts in the comment section below. I'd love to hear from you! :)


  Solvita Bennett is sharing her wisdom with people from different backgrounds to find their Inner Peace and Happiness. With more than 20 years of study and practice of Personal Growth coupled with more than 10 years experience in professional teaching gives her the ability to share her ‘Secrets to Inner Peace’ in a Simple, Easy and Practical way.

Research shows that more than 95% of people lead their lives with worry. Don’t let this happen to you! Get your FREE copy of her Special Report “7 MASTER KEYS TO SOLVE THE WORRY" now.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Michele April 8, 2011

Thank you Solvita….I love the whole post form Mother Teresa and all the way through. You make many good points and I have taken some notes to keep with me.


Solvita April 9, 2011

Michele, it’s nice to see you here… thanks for your warm words! :)


Carol Giambri April 9, 2011

Got watch Solvita who we allow to help create our self image. As kids it's usually our parents, but as we get older those good or bad images can impact us.  However, as adults we can create our own self image and stand strong on what we believe about ourselves. We do have the power to change it. Great post. Thanks.


Solvita April 9, 2011

Yes – Carol we indeed can, as soon as we become aware of the way our Self-Image creates our inner and outer world…we can begin the change :) Thanks for stopping by!


Claudia Looi April 9, 2011

I think the 7 steps are really helpful. Even though I have gone far from what I was before in dealing with self-image, I still have to be reminded to check on myself. Negative self image comes in once in a while when I am unaware.


Solvita April 10, 2011

Claudia thanks for stopping by! You are so right when you say , when I’m unaware…I am not perfect and have to watch my Self-Image creating restrictions, boundaries or sabotaging me, before I can work on it. Sometimes you don’t even have to do any work, as soon as you can become aware how you are creating your outer world from the inner, it is sufficient and so you would not do it again, because when you are aware everything changes to serve you for the highest good :)


donovan grant April 11, 2011

Quality article Solvita. I have struggled with step 2 a lot over the years. I was unaware that forgiving myself was as important as forgiving other people. Making that one shift and having a more forgiving heart has been like a personal remedy for me when I hold myself back. Thanks for this message.


Solvita April 11, 2011

Donovan it’s nice to see you here thanks a lot for stopping by! :)


Victoria Gazeley April 12, 2011

Super reminders, Solvita!  Can you imagine if we all did this regularly?  What a completely different world we would have – and we WILL have.  Thanks for this!


Solvita April 12, 2011

Thanks Victoria! Yes – I’d love to imagine that people would be able to take control over their suffering and move into joy and happiness with ease, the world would make an advancement into direction of humanity in a big way, leaving out the wars and more suffering!


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