5 TOP Lessons I’ve Learned from Past Friendships…
"Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great."
…Today I'm going to share with you some lessons I've learned from past friendships, which may help you to get more clarity with your experiences, gain a better understanding and therefore find self-esteem and inner peace.
… I've had many friendships in my life and I’m sure you have too. At a deeper level we attract people to us which reflect our inner state of being. We have friends from past, even when we have changed beyond recognition, we have friends which are current who reflect our passions, spiritual level, emotional intelligence, values, priorities… There are people who are attracted to us for the support we can provide. There are those who inspire us and help us grow…
Well friendships are not always easy and straight forward and there are many reasons we drift apart from people we were so much attached to.
…Friendships like everything in life have their natural life’s cycle. We are often drawn together by circumstances like work, interests, children and then when our circumstances change so the friendship may end and we part.
It is very important to have friends and more important to have friends that serve your higher authentic self. When friendship becomes draining or you feel overwhelmed, the time is to let it go. There is nothing more damaging to our well being as being stuck in an unhealthy friendship.
Let’s see 5 TOP Lessons I’ve Learned from Past Friendships
#1 Envy and Jealousies. There is nothing more damaging when this toxic emotion steps into a friendship. When your friend feels envy and is jealous about your successes, people you meet, the things you do, you will not receive the support and understanding your Higher Self needs. The truth is there is not a lot you can do and no words will help. This friendship is very likely to end.
#2 Spiritual Growth. We are bound to outgrow certain friendships. Nothing more changes people than spiritual growth. When we grow spiritually our values, beliefs, attitude and even outside circumstances change rapidly. An example is, if you used to have a great time drinking or gossiping now as you grow spiritually you may not find this so appealing any more. For this reason you may well drift apart.
#3 Circumstances change. Let’s say you are single and your friend is single too, you spend a lot of time together and then your friend gets married the circumstances change, you don't see each other as often and just drift apart. Circumstances are often resulting for gradually drifting apart. I have more than three friends, which I don't meet anymore just because of a change of circumstances.
#4 Emotional dependence. I think this is my weakest point. I often attract people who become emotionally depended on me. I am strong and know that I can help a lot in terms of emotional support, the pitfalls are, that people who are emotionally depended can become too attached and we will feel drained or suffocated as time goes on. This friendship can’t be equal and even though you can help, your friend at the same time will never be able to do the same for you. We need freedom and space to grow and evolve, so we can move on in life to become what we are meant to become. This point is very much overlooked and it is not obvious to many as we love to help and serve our friends. However sometimes we have to take care of our needs first, so our service can reach more people and not only the one person.
#5 Competition. Well this is very common, especially when we grow up, we like to compete with our siblings and so we bring these traits into our friendships later in life. A friendship can’t flourish when competing as there will be too much hurt and pain. When we can’t celebrate our friend’s success as much as it would be ours, the friendship will never be healthy and will end.
The ways in which people end friendships can be very different. Sometimes it is very hard to talk, as people often become defensive or blaming of others. There are a lot of feelings involved in any friendship and often unresolved issues from our childhood come up as a result. When those feelings are not acknowledged and understood, no amount of discussion or words can save the friendship.
There is a lot to learn from friendships… Friends are like mirrors of our inner life, some are there to share with us the same passion, interests, and some are there to challenge us to grow even more, if we can recognize this challenge.
…Without interactions with others you would never know who you really are. Nothing can be better than to have a healthy, soul nourishing and loving friendship. Also you have to know when to let a toxic friendship go my friend. You are not a slave to your friends, when you give, help and support someone and receive nothing in return. Be honest to yourself and be open to a much healthier, more harmonious and uplifting friendship. There is time when you have to let go, it can be painful, but your happiness and inner peace is vital for your well being.
You will feel when a friendship is healthy, as you will feel uplifted and happy every time you see your friend. You can’t change the other person, however you can change yourself. When you change and grow, you will attract people that reflect this change. When you are positive, strong and confident, you will also draw to you people who present those characteristics.
Know your worth my friend and you will be able to set the boundaries which your friends will respect. You deserve the best!
Let’s see how we can let the resentment and hurt of our past friendships go and look forward to more meaningful, nourishing, happy and encouraging ones. The way to have friends is to be one to others. Real friend will respect your past, believe in your future and accept you for who you really are unconditionally. Often what we see missing in others we are missing in ourselves…
I'm still learning how to be a good friend – let’s do this together!
Please share your thoughts in the comment section below. I'd love to hear from you!
Solvita Bennett is sharing her wisdom with people from different backgrounds to find their Inner Peace and Happiness. With more than 20 years of study and practice of Personal Growth coupled with more than 10 years experience in professional teaching gives her the ability to share her ‘Secrets to Inner Peace’ in a Simple, Easy and Practical way.
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