How to Find Inner Peace – When Dealing with Heartache

by Solvita Bennett on July 16, 2011

Simple Ways to Deal with Heartache and Find Inner Peace Now.

"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit."

Napoleon Hill

There are three main areas in our lives that are vital to our well being. They are Health, Wealth and Love. When we suffer in any of these three, we can't enjoy our lives to the fullest.

Today I'm going to write about a broken heart and the ways we could heal the feeling of hurt naturally. We are meant to love and also naturally want be loved. However there are situations in life, where we can receive rejection and feel the pain, which can be much stronger than physical pain, which is the pain of a broken heart. There are endless songs written and art created, many lives lost, as it is to us so important to receive love as a response to our love given…
How can we find inner peace, when we feel this mental pain? … It is very hard to answer as we are so different and our values and situations are different, however I'm going to give you some guidance in this article. The good news is that there are ways to heal a broken heart and in most cases time is the best healer…

You can't have any control over others and how they feel, and even if you would try to manipulate others – it would only backfire, as your intentions wouldn't be those of the highest good to all. The only way you can deal with this difficult situation is to work with yourself…

There are some useful things to know about rejection:

  • Rejection is nothing to do with your worthiness.
  • It might be not the right person.
  • The timing may not be right.

Have you ever found in the past, when you loved someone and then after while found out that you can't understand why you loved the person in the first place?

…However when we are in love, it is hard to be logical and rational. When we are rejected by someone we love, it creates a lot of suffering within us. It is emotional and nothing makes sense. Let's see how can we get our life in order and do some activities when faced with heartache.

Here are some activities you could do to help you to overcome the suffering:

  • Begin with Self-Appreciation. You are an amazing person and I know it, otherwise you wouldn't read this, you want to gain more knowledge and understanding about life, learn from others and reflect within yourself. This shows that you are worthwhile and more valuable than you might realize. When you can recognize this and appreciate these amazing qualities you posses, it will help you move away from pain much quicker. Love starts from yourself. You may be disappointed about rejection, however it might be that the person you fell in love with is not right for you and you deserve someone who meets your values and interests better.
  •  Nothing is more important than to feel good about yourself. When you feel good you attract people and situations in your life, that you truly deserve to have.
  •  Exercise the power of detachment. When we are in love with someone we like to hold that person close and actually too close, which creates the opposite effect of what we want to achieve. In many cases it makes the other person feel restricted and even threatened by the feeling of "lost freedom". People like to feel free and when you mentally are prepared to give this freedom, you also will demonstrate it by your actions.
  •  Devote time to new projects, it can be things like decorating a room, try new things, look for interests and activities that will occupy your mind and it would help to distract you from thinking of your ex.
  • Meet up with your friends, it helps if you can talk to a friend openly without being judged. It will help you to release tension. However once you shared your story, don't dwell on it and stop repeating as your aim is to place your focus on something else, much better.
  • Physical exercise is always good, as it helps to heal any depression and stress. It also helps to heal your heart. It will keep you in good shape, fit, healthy and so will make you feel good about yourself.
  •  You might find some happiness in helping others. When you give your time and effort to other people, you receive love and appreciation, which warms your heart and makes you happy.
  • Forgive your ex, it helps a lot. When you forgive someone it gives you the energy of release and it is the best way to let go. Be grateful for lessons you've learned and experiences you've had, because of your relationship. It made your life more interesting and colorful. It helped you also to learn more about yourself. Everything happens for a reason, and we gain more and more experiences on the way. Sometimes what we think are negative experiences can actually manifest into the biggest turning points of our lives and for the best. This happened to me, and I'm very grateful for it even up till today.

 …Learn more about yourself through your spiritual journey. Happiness, love and inner peace is within and always present. It can be dormant for many years, but if you start focusing on it more and more, it becomes awake and starts to dominate every area of your life. This is what awakening is; once you are awake spiritually it is hard to make the spiritual part of your being dormant again.

 Love outside yourself is an illusion, it comes from within and radiates outwards and the love you see in others is love you reflect from within yourself. The same goes with rejection. Love yourself as much as you can and appreciate yourself, so you can radiate love outwards and find the lover of your dreams.

Please share your thoughts in the comment section below. I'd love to hear from you! :)

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  Solvita Bennett is sharing her wisdom with people from different backgrounds to find their Inner Peace and Happiness. With more than 20 years of study and practice of Personal Growth coupled with more than 10 years experience in professional teaching gives her the ability to share her ‘Secrets to Inner Peace’ in a Simple, Easy and Practical way.

Research shows that more than 95% of people lead their lives with worry. Don’t let this happen to you! Get your FREE copy of her Special Report “7 MASTER KEYS TO SOLVE THE WORRY" now.

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Olga Hermans July 29, 2011

It is so important to have inner peace Solvita. We feel torn without it. One of the things that also brings inner peace when we are doing what we were born for. It brings a fulfillment that nothing else can bring. Plus the one of forgiveness is a biggie as well of course. Thanks for all the tips that we can do!!

Reply

Solvita Bennett July 30, 2011

Olga, it’s great to see you here! Yes – when we follow our path we are meant to take and are lead by our inner calling, that is when we connect to inner peace, creativity, power and can live our lives to the fullest. Thanks a lot! :)

Reply

Charl Visser February 11, 2013

Hi Solvita

My wife is divorcing me after 17 good years and 3 beautiful kids, there are no 3rd parties involved, but she doesn’t love me anymore and says my character is smuthering her. I am totally wrecked and my heart is so sore that it actually physically hurts. I read your page and it really makes sense to me and I am going to use this advise to heal my heart.

Thank you very much!!!
Charl

Reply

Solvita Bennett February 12, 2013

Hi Charl, I am very sorry to hear that. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your situation. I recently wrote an article, which may help you http://www.positivecalm.com/how-do-i-find-inner-peace-when-dealing-with-loss/. Remember be very gentle to yourself and find a way to take care of YOU. Here one more article written by Susan: http://www.positivecalm.com/how-to-have-inner-peace-while-going-through-divorce/ Thanks again and I hope you will stop by again soon.

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jasmine March 18, 2013

Hi Solvita,
Why is it that one get immense pain or hurt or heartache from people who you love so dearly ie. blood relations or close relatives or spouse/children or close friends. One gets taken for granted or cheated from these very people whom you love so deeply and trust so blindly. One often hears stories of children getting battered or physically abused by none other than one’s parent….how does a child so vulnerable deal with this toxic situation ? Sometimes, one questions “is loving or trusting your near or dear ones so bad if one has to pay such a heavy price for it”… Strongly feel for them…..Remembered your words to be one’s support system……Life is so unpredictable and may bring such deadly situations and experiences (heartaches) that one needs to be one’s strong support system. Your words are so powerful “Be Your Own Support System”.

Reply

Solvita Bennett March 24, 2013

Dear Jasmine, absolutely you are your own support system. When you are able to keep your energy positive and high, when you are able to see spirit and beauty in situations and people, regardless of appearances, when you are able to take care of yourself first, you then will be able to go out and serve and take care of others too. When we are down, ill, negative, we are no help to others, not even to ourselves. We may see people suffer, yet without money or other means, we are unable to help. This is why I often say, it is important that you are strong, healthy and wealthy too. The more wealth people, who have positive and life changing intentions can have the better for society and all. So nice to hear from you, my friend. Thanks for stopping by.

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Jonathan April 26, 2013

Hi Solvita, 

I do like your solution in dealing with heartache.

However, I find it difficult to do it especially when you are really being hurt by that heartache. I am not breaking up, but being seperated away by distance. We are forced to go for long distance relationship. Right now, even though we live quite closely, we seldom meet and there are some things that I want to do together but not achieved yet because I am not brave enough to say it out. Sometimes that hurts me. I really want to express my feeling more, but I find it easier to share it with friends. There is some kind of barrier between us, I guess. I really wish I could have a better relationship. I tried several times to move on, but it seems that I cannot make it and fall in love too deeply. The heartache is always more painful than physical pain, and sometimes it is just so hard to get over it unless taking sleeping pill which is dangerous and unhealthy solution.

Reply

Solvita Bennett May 5, 2013

Hi Jonathan, relationships play a significant part in our lives and so there is no surprise that we get hurt. We learn a lot more about ourselves through relationships (including intimate ones) the more significant relationship is to us the more it hurts if it doesn't work out the way we hoped it would. We learn and become better through learning (wiser), but there will be always challenges. With time you will learn to express your feelings better. It is fearful to many to express what they really feel, as people more than often are afraid of rejection or judgment or even perceived as weak. However when we don't share our feelings, we can't experience great relationships. As relationships are all about sharing, giving, forgiving, understanding, accepting, loving. This all is to do with feelings. Sleeping pill may mask what you feel, yet will only deepen your frustration. You can only learn to gain more courage and have a conversation. Dialog is what helps to bond. So glad you found my site! See you back soon.

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