How do I find Inner Peace with Relationships

by Solvita Bennett on May 12, 2012

4 Top TIPS on How To FIND INNER PEACE with RELATIONSHIPS…

"When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves."
William Arthur Ward

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Dear Friend,

… At times it can be very challenging to find inner peace and happiness when dealing with others. However there is nothing more significant in your life than relationships, as without relationships you would have no reference point to grow personally or spiritually.

To maintain peace with others is an art and skill, which can be learned and mastered with practice over time.

It is amazing when we find people, who agree with our beliefs, perspective on life and opinions on different subjects. However often we were, are, and will be in disagreement with others. So how can we maintain our inner peace regardless of the opposite, differing opinions and behavior of other people in order to build long lasting, nurturing, loving, caring and empowering relationships.

Before we can appreciate seemingly negative experiences with others we must understand the significance of them.

For a long time I didn’t understand the value of a negative belief, an opposite or differing opinion. I didn’t feel comfortable and there was not even the slightest desire in me to appreciate them. 😉

Only recently I came to understand the significant importance of different and even opposing opinions of others. So how do I find inner peace in relationships? Now let’s look at 4 TIPS on how to have EXTRAORDINARY relationships and Inner Peace.

4 Top TIPS on How To FIND INNER PEACE with RELATIONSHIPS:

#1. Stop Pleasing People.

It is a good feeling when you find that other people feel happy and the reason for their happiness is you. However as we all know happiness is a very personal thing and it is independent from others. It is an internal state.

When we start doing everything we can to maintain happiness for others, even for just one person, we are on the way to failure. When you make the other person believe that you are the only source for them to be happy, you are actually taking away not only our own power, but also theirs.

They will demand more, and so blame you for their unhappiness and there will never be enough time or resources for you to maintain their demands. So if you want to make people happy, it is good to inspire, motivate have fun together and enjoy the company, but make them realize that they can find their happiness also without your help and you, so that they can be strong and independent. This is very powerful!

I’ve seen many relationships fail, when there is one person, who takes and the other, who gives. It should be equally empowering.

The Appreciation:

Appreciate the ability of others to maintain their happiness regardless of your help and you. Appreciate your ability to maintain your own happiness regardless of the help from others.

#2. The Opinions of Other People about You and YOU.

I care what people think of me, and it is good to have a reference. However the opinions of others we can’t take too personally or we can lose our identity. It is natural to have desire to be loved or liked by others, but in reality there is not a lot that you can do, as the way others see us is all about their perspective and you can’t control that.

Often people see themselves in a negative light and for them it can be very hard to project a positive light on others. When we understand this, we also will ONLY care about how we think about others rather than how they think about us.

Once we can maintain our positive thinking and opinions about others, we will also find that people will change their behavior towards us. As a result your success will increase significantly my friend.

The Appreciation:

Appreciate your ability and freedom to maintain a positive opinion of others, regardless of their opinions of you.

#3. When we are Faced with Anger from Others.

When other people can’t hide their anger towards us, and lash out on us, we feel it, it is our fault. Well we may of course be guilty, however most of the time it is nothing to do with us. It is rather their inability to maintain their own core inner peace, and they are fighting with themselves. When we can stay calm and don’t join them in their fight, when we understand this and don’t take it personally, with time they will either leave us or not involve us in their fight.

The Appreciation:

Appreciate yourself for being able to understand that the behavior of others is their business and their ability to be at their core peace. Appreciate your ability to be at your core peace regardless of the behavior of others.

#4. Enjoy the Success of Other People.

We are trained and conditioned to compete and it requires a lot of work and adjustment in our thinking to see other people success as a benefit to ours. However in reality life becomes more abundant with success of others, will never hinder your, but rather increase your ability to succeed too.

Once you train your mind to agree with this, you will see yourself succeed as never before. It is the same, when you see others wealthy and look at them with resentment, it is impossible to become wealthy; as your subconscious mind will not let something ‘that bad’ happen to you. This is how you can break through the limiting beliefs. When you find your heart celebrates the success of another, it is a proof, that you are succeeding or on the way to success yourself. This is how cooperation is so much more INFLUENTIAL and POWERFUL than competition.

The Appreciation:

Appreciate success of others, so that you can open doors to yours too.

… It is good to know that only through diversity of different opinions can we find new ideas, gain clarity about the things we really want. Only with clarity and a strong desire to evolve can we fulfill our destiny. So it makes good sense to appreciate this diversity and maintain our positive, peaceful approach towards others all the time.

With practice comes mastery.

For the next week see how you can see only the best qualities in others, appreciate people where they are now and train your mind to see the best characteristics in them, even when you can’t see them at the moment. Don’t take it personally, when they lose their balance. This is the way you will find freedom, strength, inner peace and power in relationships.

These tips will not only make you an extraordinary person, but also inspire others to become the best they can.

Let’s do this together. :)

Now is your turn, please share your thoughts, concerns or stories in the comment section below. I’d love to hear from you!

________________________________

  Solvita Bennett is sharing her wisdom with people from different backgrounds to find their Inner Peace and Happiness. With more than 20 years of study and practice of Personal Growth coupled with more than 10 years experience in professional teaching gives her the ability to share her ‘Secrets to Inner Peace’ in a Simple, Easy and Practical way.

Research shows that more than 95% of people lead their lives with worry. Don’t let this happen to you! Get your FREE copy of her Special Report “7 MASTER KEYS TO SOLVE THE WORRY" now.

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{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }

Ruth Hegarty, Creature Good May 15, 2012

I love your take on this and how you explain it so that empowering and honoring ourselves actually empowers and honors others!

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Thank you Ruth! This is exactly what happens, appreciate your comment! :)

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Terressa Cortez May 15, 2012

Great post. Thank you for your advice and tips. Relationships are not always easy and having guidance helps tremendously.

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Thank you Terressa! So great you stopped by! :)

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Barbara Peters May 15, 2012

This is Beautiful Solvita. By doing this we can also see the best in ourselves ! Excellent Advice !

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Thank you Barbara, appreciate your comment! :)

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Carolyn Hughes May 15, 2012

What a great post! Am dealing with a difficult situation with someone at the moment and have been looking for some insight and suddenly there it was – ‘Stop pleasing people’. That’s exactly what I need to do! Stop telling the person what I think they want to hear instead of what I actually want to say to them out of fear of offending them.

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Absolutely, it is hard to please others all the time… however what we say to others matters and it is very influential. Here is the link to one of my articles, which goes more into depth: http://www.positivecalm.com/the-secret-energy-of-words-and-inner-peace/
At times we have to realize that enough is enough, and it depends on the situation, but if you feel weakened by your relationship with the other person, it is an indication, that you have to make a change in your approach. Good luck Carolyn and thank you!

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Hughie Bagnell May 16, 2012

Hi Solvita…Excellent article! Excellent tips on ‘How to find Inner Peace with Relationships’ especially, ‘Enjoy the Success of Other People’! We are here to serve, so the enjoyment and celebration of other’s success is key for leadership and to perpetuate the ‘circle of success’! …Thank you for sharing!…Hughie :)

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Thank you Hughie! It is so awesome to see you here! :)

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Sally K Witt May 16, 2012

Finding the few people in my life that share unconditional love with me means that I can be honest, cranky, and sometimes crazy – and still come back from all of that into a great relationship.

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Absolutely, you have to feel safe with people you love, so you can share your life and have no fear of being misunderstood or judged. Thank you Sally! :)

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Martha Giffen May 16, 2012

What a great plan for anyone who is interested in improving their life! You have such an easy way of relating in your writing style. I really enjoyed this post!

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Thank you Martha, it means the world to me to know that my readers can relate to what I want to share. I really appreciate your comment!

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Sharon O'Day May 16, 2012

Whether we’re picking up on happiness, or anger, or judgment, or whatever in others, in the end we have to be fully grounded in who WE are … and allow others to be grounded in who THEY are. That includes allowing them their successes and their failures, their ups and downs. Which, in turn, allows us to have our own.

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Absolutely Sharon! This is what true freedom is! Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving such an insightful comment!

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Lisa Birnesser May 16, 2012

Amazing post, Solvita! I loved the point about stop pleasing people. “When we start doing everything we can to maintain happiness for others, even for just one person, we are on the way to failure.” And this is so true. When you are so busy making other people happy you can’t possibly focus on your own development.

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Yes, Lisa … you can’t focus on your own happiness and so on your own purpose. Thanks a lot!

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Anastasiya Day May 16, 2012

I totally agree with Barbara ~ By doing this we can also see the best in ourselves ! Great post and thanks for sharing :)

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Thank you Anastasiya! So nice to see you here! :)

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DianeDP May 16, 2012

Today is a day when I particularly need inner peace, so this came at just the right time! Thanks for the help.

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Thank you for landing on my site ~ appreciate it! :)

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Sherry Nouraini May 16, 2012

Solvita,I think you are already there, an extraordinary person! I loved reading this, it’s like therapy, so thank you!

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Thank you Sherry… well there is never ending room of creativity, enjoyment and spiritual expansion, so there is no end to improvement. I’m practicing what I teach and share. … I so appreciate your comment and it is very kind of you to say that I am an extraordinary person. It is pleasure to find that my site makes a difference in people’s lives. :)

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Pat Moon May 16, 2012

Hi Solvita, great tips. I have always struggled with trying to be a people pleaser as well as being concerned about what other think of me. Great insight. Thanks!

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Thank you Pat! We all have been there and at times I found trapped in it myself. It is great to know that the only thing matters is, what we think of others. When we can focus exclusively on that and not the other way around, it will bring a lot of freedom and happiness in return.

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Marie Leslie May 17, 2012

Such wonderful, clear and straightforward explanations of these important principles to healthy relationships and inner peace.

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Thank you Marrie, I’m glad to hear you found it so clear! I appreciate you comment a lot!

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Anita May 17, 2012

Excellent tip and I love your wisdom. Number one is my favorite :)

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Thank you Anita for stopping by ~ it means a lot to me! :)

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Helena May 17, 2012

Loved this post Solvita. Especially the section about not worrying about what others think of you lets you lose your identity. It’s more important to be yourself, and if the other person can’t accept you for you, then it’s not the right person to be having a relationship with.

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Solvita Bennett May 20, 2012

Thank you Lena! Acceptance and emotional availability is the key to any good relationship. It is amazing to see you here! :)

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Susan Preston May 21, 2012

Wow! I just love reading and listening to your posts. This really resonated with me, “Enjoy the Success of Other People!” I believe in order to have success for any great length of time, you have to want others to succeed, as well! Thank you, for your love and support that you continually give to me! You are such a gift in my life. xox

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Solvita Bennett May 27, 2012

Thank you my dear friend! It is so wonderful you came to my site once again and knowing that you enjoy not only my articles, but also audios means the world to me, Susan. You are such a gift in my life to! xox

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Nargis Akhter April 15, 2013

What a wonderful way to put together the most important concept about relationships. I do similar kind of talk among my friends and family!! thanks for sharing

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Solvita Bennett April 22, 2013

Thank you Nargis, it is wonderful you stopped by! I hope to see you soon back! :)

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D Sinise June 12, 2013

I really like how you put all of these wonderful points together to share this with people. I have a really hard time because I try to please everyone all the time.

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Solvita Bennett June 16, 2013

Thank you! It is natural and there is a difference between pleasing people and serving them for the highest good. The need to please people is coming from our ego and once we recognize this difference we finally get our power back and so feel no need to please. When the need to please is gone, we become of service, this is completely different place to be. The energy of service is united with the Higher energy and so it is not restricted or limited. Or in other words the more we give the more we receive and the more we are able to give. This energy of giving is coming from our higher or spiritual Self rather than from ego. Thank you for stopping by, appreciate your comment. :)

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