5 TOP Ways To Remove Inner Critic

by Solvita Bennett on July 28, 2012

How To Remove Inner Critic and Have Positive Inner Calm NOW…

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Dear Friend,

… It is very challenging to have Positive Inner Calm, when we don’t know HOW to silence and remove that INNER CRITIC.

This is one of the biggest challenges for many people. The problem is, when we are unaware of this and let our inner critic take over our LIFE…

At times we can feel inauthentic and unworthy, even though there is no reason. This feeling becomes dominant especially in times, when we start something new and don’t have enough experience and so the expertise. This is what often stops people from getting ahead and succeeding.

The inner critic will step in every time, when your intentions are high, full of inspiration and energy. You may say to yourself something similar to: “I am not ready yet.”; “Who do you think you are?”; “Why do you think you can do this?”; “You need more courses to complete and more degrees to gain.”

The Inner Critic will not only create a lot of LIMITATIONS and stop you from doing YOUR work with joy and positive expectation, but also make you concerned, suspicious, unhappy and just generally down.

It is OK to feel this way at times, accept this feeling. We will feel this way, when we start a new journey. Less often though, once we will be able to recognize it early enough and then use the tips I’m going to share with you today.

One of my favorite relationship coaches and friends Susan Preston ever so often says: “The biggest fear people have is not being good enough.”

This fear comes to us naturally, as we naturally want to fit in, have friends, good time and be accepted by others. It is great to be in harmony with our outside world, but the first step is to find the harmony within. When you finally find this inner harmony, the Inner Critic will turn into you best buddy and so support and cheer you on the way to success my friend.

Now let’s look at 5 Ways you can remove the Inner Critic:

#1 Become aware of your Inner Critic.

Every change for improvement and healing starts with awareness. So when you feel down, inadequate, inauthentic, pay attention to your inner dialog. You don’t really have to do anything, just become aware of what reasons you come up with for being a fraud, not good enough, or not deserving in the achievement. Do you try to play down your achievement in front of others, by saying its only luck? …

People would often say to me. I am so lucky as I know many languages and I tend to agree, as to me languages came easy. What I did notice over time however was, that only talent is not enough to master a language. By agreeing with the statement of having luck, I was actually discounting the hard work I had to put into studying the languages. It was not down to luck. It was an achievement so rightly deserved.

I am sure, you will find something in your life, when people think you are lucky and it is not really luck. Be aware of your achievements and acknowledge the work you put in to make it happen.

Awareness of similar situations will give you many clues. Once you become aware, you can move into changing your thinking and as a result your actions. With changing your actions, you will change your life.

#2 Find your strengths.

You need some proof for that Inner Critic, and what can be better than a list of your strength. The writing of these helps to make clear. The writing on paper makes our thoughts physical and so gives more power to what is said.

Look back at all the achievements you can think of. Remember the times, when it was hard at the beginning and became easy, once you got the hang of it. Look at positive reviews from your clients. Feed your mind and soul with your self-worth and self-love.

Read the list and feel the worth and acknowledge the work you put in.

One step leads to one other, it is not luck. Positive thinking is something that creates success and it doesn’t come naturally. If you are successful, you worked on your mindset; you worked mentally physically, emotionally. You followed your calling and were not afraid to do the work. Focus on what you did, how you thought to achieve your success.

#3 HEAL the emotions of shame.

Your Inner Critic will challenge you with many suggestions that will make you feel as a fraud, unworthy or inauthentic. You may feel ashamed or humiliated. Often people tend to hide these feelings by becoming arrogant, seeking some kind of recognition from public or certain people. Once you’ll become aware of your feelings and the ways you try to compensate them, the healing can happen.

This is why awareness is the first step. We often feel the feeling, but can’t put our finger on the source. As you may know it is impossible to feel two opposite emotions at a given moment.

The best practice is to develop and nurture feelings of the opposite nature. Feeling of self-worth, unconditional self-love, and deep connection of self will heal those harmful emotions of shame.

Trust yourself with the bottom of your heart that you are in the right place and at the right time. You are where you are, and it is a great place to be and a great place where from to start moving into even greater place.

#4 Leave PERFECTIONISM and step into your POWER.

Inner Critic is often very canny, and so likes things to be perfect. Well with acceptance that there may be other ways to approach the same situation; you can open your mind to more creative solutions. Perfectionism often creates more limits and also minds to find better, easier ways.

Step into your power and accept, there will be times when it may seem not perfect to you, have a trust that it will work out well. Often what we perceive as problems are true blessing in disguise. Be in the flow of life and it will lead you the perfect way.

#5 Hire a coach, mentor or take part in a SELF-educational program.

People often underestimate the powerful influence of a coach, mentor or a spiritual, self-development program can give. The greatest athletes don’t become the best without a good coach or mentor. It can be a big investment. However there are also other ways to support your Inner Self. You are the biggest asset that you have and it is worth investing in. You will uncover limitations and have breakthroughs. You will realize, that you already know so much, that you already are on the right path. You will gain clarity and confidence in your abilities.

You have to turn your Inner Critic to your BEST friend, who will support you every time. You are appreciated as you are and you know so much already. You’ve came so far and it is not an accident. It is the perfect place and time.

Now use the 5 ways, when that Inner Critic let’s you down my friend.

Let’s do this together.

Now is your turn, please share your thoughts, concerns or stories in the comment section below. I’d love to hear from you. :)

________________________________

  Solvita Bennett is sharing her wisdom with people from different backgrounds to find their Inner Peace and Happiness. With more than 20 years of study and practice of Personal Growth coupled with more than 10 years experience in professional teaching gives her the ability to share her ‘Secrets to Inner Peace’ in a Simple, Easy and Practical way.

Research shows that more than 95% of people lead their lives with worry. Don’t let this happen to you! Get your FREE copy of her Special Report “7 MASTER KEYS TO SOLVE THE WORRY" now.

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{ 59 comments… read them below or add one }

Martha Giffen July 31, 2012

Such a powerful post. That inner calm is so important, yet elusive so many times simply because we haven’t spent time doing the inner work that we so desperately need. You have given clear advice here. Thanks!

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Thank you, Martha. The time is needed for inner work and even 15 minutes a day makes a huge difference in someone’s life. The success, happiness and inner calm are something that comes by cultivating our character and changing mindset. :)

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Olga Hermans July 31, 2012

Our inner critic can destroy us completely when we are not careful. We need to become more and more aware of who we are and how wonderfully made we are by or Creator; we cannot keep criticizing ourselves or others for the same reason.

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Great you stopped by Olga, appreciate your comment! :)

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Sherie July 31, 2012

Solvita, such an insightful, powerful post. We do need to acknowledge the hard work that looks like luck. Making your inner critic your best friend…love that!

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Thank you Sherie for your kind feedback. This is so amazing to see you back!

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Michelle DeMarco August 1, 2012

Wow did I struggle with this in my teens through my 30s… It shouldn’t be so difficult to grow into a strong secure woman!!! More of us need to know about how to keep that Inner Critic at bay – or as Sark always says…send her on vacation!!!

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Absolutely ~ send her on vacation! Love it Michelle!

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Meryl Hershey Beck August 1, 2012

I explore the issue of the Inner Critic in my book, discussing how it was formed to help us fit in but later becomes a merciless tyrant. Thanks for bringing this to the attention of all your readers!

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Such a great topic! Thank you for enjoying my article and taking time to leave such a kind comment. I appreciate it. See you back soon, Meryl! :)

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maggie currie August 1, 2012

That inner critic is a pain in the bum. Being aware of it and saying thank you for our input but I am ignoring you is one way to deal with it. Great article

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Yes… it is as you say ~ pain in the bum! ;) Thank you Maggie for stopping by! It is pleasure to have you here.

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Catherine Doucette August 1, 2012

Good points! I became aware in my 30s that every time I heard that little voice say, “who the hell do you think you are?” I knew I was growing and headed in the right direction :)

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Great discovery! When we learn to manage our little negative voice, nothing can stop us, Catherine! Thank you!

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elizabeth August 1, 2012

Beautiful, Solvita. I love coming to your blog and listening or reading! You can not feel 2 opposite emotions at the same time! I have to practice loving me and over looking my flaws and imperfections..after all they are part of what make me who I am. ..;)

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Thank you Liz! :)

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Carolyn Hughesc August 1, 2012

What a powerful post Solvita! Love your ways to turn the inner critic into a best friend. Would never have thought of trying to turn perfectionism into power but this is such a healthy positive way to go. Thank you!

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

It is great you stopped by Carolyn. Thank you for your feedback! :)

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Anita August 1, 2012

Such a powerful message and leaving perfectionism..I love that line. So many of the women I have worked with over the years have suffered with this. Thanks for being a candle of hope for all of us :)

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

This is what is holding back so many people. Perfectionism is fear of making mistakes and so stops us from doing what we have to do. We learn early that mistakes are bad and we must avoid them. So when we are living based on fear, we also limit ourselves for success. Thank you Anita ~ so wonderful to see you here! :)

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Barbara Peters August 2, 2012

This is a beautiful message ! I help couples and I really don’t think any of them would have made it without my help. I hope it was worth it!

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Yes… help is what so many people are afraid to get and yet can change the life. It is not wise to ignore our problems and not get help, when needed. It is our childish side of stubbornness ;) Thank you for stopping by, Barbara.

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Kathy August 3, 2012

Thanks for writing on such a subject. All of us face problems in handling the inner critic. We may need help from outside which is mostly not available. Your article will help a lot of people like me. Thanks again for such a relevant post.

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Thank you, Kathy! It is great you stopped by and found it useful. Appreciate your positive feedback.

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Sally K Witt August 3, 2012

I really enjoyed this post Solvita. This is a big topic for everyone, even if they don’t realize it.

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Thank you, Sally. :)

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Robert August 3, 2012

I face so much turmoil from within. Whenever I muster the courage to do something new I face restrictions from within. At times it becomes so painful to deal with the constant negativity that originates from within.

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

I can relate to this. We become more skilled in managing the turmoil within, when we learn to understand our nature and do the inner work. You are in the right place, Robert.

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Robbins August 3, 2012

It is essential to love yourselves. We should be able to accept ourselves with all the vulnerabilities and shortcomings. Know that you are not imperfect and it is ok to be so. This will help you to overcome the inner critic.

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Absolutely! Great point ~ love it. Thank you for stopping by Robbins.

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Lisa Frederiksen - BreakingTheCycles.com August 3, 2012

Solvita – this is such a powerful, thought-provoking post — I love your suggestions! This line jumped out at me, “You don’t really have to do anything, just become aware, just become aware of what reasons you come up with for being a fraud, not good enough, or not deserving in the achievement. ” I’ve found this idea to be so helpful in my own life — it’s helping me to view my Inner Critic as a concerned friend :).

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Great to see you here, Lisa! Such a great way to view your Inner Critic ~ ” as a concerned friend” …this is what it is.

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Hannah August 4, 2012

Creating a list of the strengths you possess will instill self confidence. It is your defense against the inner critic. Every time the inner critic tries to stop you from doing something just go through your list of strengths and the critic will become silent.

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Yes… this is what will silence it! It is amazing, you stopped by, Hannah. Thank you for your kind comment. :)

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Jason August 4, 2012

It is not right to seek perfectionism in all situations. At times it is good to try and achieve certain things. Taking action at the right moment is more important. We should realize this and this will make the inner critic rest a while.

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Absolutely, Jason. Taking action at the right time will definitely remove the Inner Critic. Sometimes we freeze and do nothing, as we want all perfect and let the Inner Critic make our lives a misery.

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Eva August 4, 2012

It is also important to be active. It is not right to stop working because of the inner critic. We should keep up with our usual routine and get busy in interesting things. Once our mind is busy the inner critic will stop bothering us.

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Yes, Eva. When our mind is busy with the work we do, our focus is to do the best we can and so the Inner Critic leaves. Love your comment ~ thank you!

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Jeff August 4, 2012

Do not pay attention to any criticism inner or outer. Just ignore them. Let them cry or shout. You will be all right. Keep on doing your job. They will soon stop bothering you after a while.

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Great … when we stop paying attention, it will leave. As our focus is what makes things grow bigger and stronger. Thank you, Jeff. Wonderful approach.

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Martina August 4, 2012

Very well written article. I was looking for something like this and found your site. You have done a great work. It is heartening to know that you are trying to help others.

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Thank you, Martina… it is great you found my site. Appreciate your kind feedback and see you soon! :)

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Kim August 4, 2012

No, at times ignoring does not work as the inner critic is too powerful. You may hire a mentor or get into educational programs to really stop it. Taking help from outside is all right if that makes you feel better.

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Yes… the help from outside is often needed. It is wise to ask for help and get on with your life in a new and powerful way. Thank you, Kim.

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Rogelio August 4, 2012

Connect to your innerself. Talk to yourself and know what is bothering you. Practice meditation and you will be able to listen to your soul. When the soul speaks, the inner critic will also listen in silence.

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Solvita Bennett August 4, 2012

Thank you Rogelio, very insightful comment! Meditation is a powerful tool in managing focus and so the mind. Managing mind is the hardest work… When our mind, body and spirit are in balance and harmony with each other, this is when the real inner power emerges. Then we can also succeed and fulfil our destiny.

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Cathy | Treatment Talk August 4, 2012

Love these suggestions Solvita. This line spoke to me – “The biggest fear people have is not being good enough.” How true and we can spend our time dealing with that or work through the stress and anxiety caused by our fears and find a better way. Thanks for a great post. Have a wonderful rest of your weekend.

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Solvita Bennett August 6, 2012

Thank you, Cathy. It is great to see you here. Have a wonderful time and thenk you for your comment. :)

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Susan Preston August 5, 2012

Thank you for an Amazing article, Solvita! I love how you write from your beautiful and giving heart! I especially loved when you wrote: “#2 Find your strengths.” I see so many people focusing on their weaknesses instead of their strengths. Brilliant post!

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Solvita Bennett August 6, 2012

Thank you so much for you kind words my friend, it is such a honour to have you here and I am happy to hear you are enjoying my writing. It means a lot to me. See you back soon. :)

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Lisa Birnesser August 6, 2012

Another powerful article, Solvita! Perfectionism is so poisonous to people. It’s like trying to achieve something that isn’t possible then beating yourself up for it. It truly doesn’t serve us to live in the perfectionist’s world.It really does block us from stepping into our power. Thanks, my friend!

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Solvita Bennett August 6, 2012

I am very happy you stopped by my friend, Lisa. It is such a pleasure to have you here. You are so right about perfectionism, spot on! Thank you so much.

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Sharon O'Day August 6, 2012

Once we recognize what multi-layered, extremely complex beings we are, we start looking at ourselves in absolute wonder. This appreciation is probably the greatest “weapon” we have against any of the snarky opinions of our troublesome inner critic.

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Solvita Bennett August 6, 2012

Absolutely, appreciation of our extreme complexity and abilities leads us to unconditional love not only towards ourselves, but all humanity. Thank you so much, Sharon for your insightful comment.

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Carol Giambri August 6, 2012

Solvita, another great post. I love this one as we can become our own critic and sometimes it may stem from words spoken over us. It may just take one person to give us a compliment to turn that critic from negative to possible and believing “yes I can.” There are many gifted people who brought their wisdom sadly to the grave prematurely with the inner critic who discouraged them.

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Solvita Bennett August 6, 2012

Thank you Carol, you are so right. We can’t control the inner critic; we can ignore that annoying voice within or turn it around. The more aware and masterful we become with time, the more successful and happy we become. Thank you so much, Carol. Appreciate your comment.

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Pat Moon August 7, 2012

Solvita, thanks for great insight about our inner critic. As I started reading, I was thinking to myself that as much as our inner critic can hold us back… it can also propel us forward. Of course, your article made very good points that we can all gain from reviewing and thinking about. Thanks much.

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Larry Lewis August 20, 2012

A brilliant article, offering life changing advise. My life was transformed the day i finally learnt to get my inner voice under control and out of its negative ramblings and instead become my inner guide. Now it truly has led me and taken care of me, and the amazing thing is, as you say, we can all turn it to be our best friend!

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Ritu December 7, 2012

Thank you yet again for such powerful post. I just love the fact that how easily you put such strong emotions in simple , practical words! Everytime I read one of your article/post I feel enlightened, and when I am starting new journey in new career this post made real difference as my inner voice/self critic is trying to stop me taking that one step!!! I am so thankful to have you as my friend :) Lots of love.xxx

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