2 Top Reasons to STOP the Gossip and Have Inner Peace

by Solvita Bennett on August 4, 2012

Discover 2 TOP Reasons Gossip LIMITS Your Success and Inner Peace…

 

"Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a Gossip"

Richard Steele

Please Click the Icon below to Listen to the Audio (MP3):

Dear Friend,

… I’m sure you’ve heard that it is good to have a ‘Friendly Gossip’. Well I agree it is not unhealthy as long as you can be AWARE and identify early what kind of gossip you are having.

Is it just an innocent and healthy fun about a person with a touch of humour or damaging and irreversible lye, which creates suffering as a result?

…The DISTORTED TRUTH, especially when made damaging, demeaning and degrading, sticks to people, and so it is hard to turn it around.

Before you know it, the story starts to live the lie on its own. The damage can be devastating. The words are impossible to take back, the only control we have is to STOP saying them in the first place. Gossip can start with the smallest remark, as a snowball it can increase in size and have such an impact that can lead to personal or even political conflict, it can also lead to damaged health, relationships and lost lives. We know well from history how false accusations have created suffering to masses, and it all started from a gossip.

… In today’s society magazines and newspapers thrive on gossip, when we read about celebrities, politicians, popular people we can get all the different details about their personal and intimate lives. So people accept it as a norm of life and forget the damage and suffering it can bring…

Gossip becomes as a habit and we don't even notice we are doing it! We get addicted to it… However as you may know – habits are there to be challenged and changed if we desire our inner peace and live our lives with joy 😉

Let’s look at the 2 Top Reasons to STOP the Gossip:

#1 Negative Impact of Gossip

We are 'social creatures' and friends are important part of our social life. When we have friendship based on mutual compassion and trust, it helps us to find a shelter in times of trouble or despair. It also makes us grow and thrive personally, be valued and accepted for who we really are. When we know we can share with our friend the darkest secrets, open our hearts and know for sure it will not be abused, passed on, and never shared with others it gives us inner peace.

It is important to open up to someone you can trust, as it helps to release negative suppressed energy, reduce stress, anxiety and depression. So when you are able to do that and know that your friend will love and support you after everything you share. You will feel safe, protected, and healthy with increased happiness and inner positive calm.

Now for the next week deepen your ability to be a TRUE friend. When you desire to have friends with ability to compassion and love, you better be able to posses those qualities first – as we all know how like attracts like.

The friends with the habit to gossip will vanish or change and in return you will have friends with similar qualities to yours. Be aware of a friend who likes to gossip about others in a degrading way, they might be addicted to gossip and will not be able to keep your secrets.

You have to remember some will not change. So they can’t be compassionate and have or develop the ability to respect the trust and keep friends secrets without judgments, criticisms and gossip.

When you start becoming aware of the ways you gossip or listening to gossip and agreeing with those stories, you will be able to change. It all starts with awareness.

#2 Negative Energy of Gossip

There is no way to find our inner peace when we feel the urge to gossip regularly and do it. When we connect to the negative energy of gossip, we act from emotions, irrational, unreasonable and so limit our ability to thrive and succeed.

When you grow spiritually and emotionally, the need to gossip falls away naturally. As when the ability to be compassionate increases, the demeaning intimate and personal details of someone else's life will not make us feel any better or smarter. It will not matter.

See the ways you can become a person of inner peace next week and stay above the crowd. It will help to clear your mind from toxic thoughts and give you the ability to see people for who they are rather than to see them from the perspective of others. Try to ignore the opinions you receive and start experiencing people as if you wouldn’t know them, without judgments and all the false appearances.

… It is OK to have fun with friends, make innocent jokes and remarks. It keeps us bonded and connected. However it is important to check the quality of the gossip.

There is only one question to ask: “Is this what I’m about to share in any way giving to or taking away from life?”

You are in control and you have a choice what to say, what to believe and not to believe in every time.

It all starts from WITHIN, when we increase awareness of what we say, even if it’s just a story we want to pass on, we also can stop the Gossip in its tracks.

It may require effort at first; I know it was not easy for me too, however from my experiences I know if you will want to be able to lead your life with HIGH energy and INNER PEACE, you will do whatever it takes to take your personal growth to a next higher level.

By stopping the gossip you will be able to uncover even greater qualities you already posses, and experience life from a higher perspective.

When you are positive, happy and at your core peace your success sores like never before, as you are supported from the Universe and in harmony with nature.

You will find a person of grace, intelligence, and wisdom in YOU. It is REAL YOU.

Let’s do this together.

Now is your turn, please share your thoughts, concerns or stories in the comment section below. I’d love to hear from you.

________________________________

  Solvita Bennett is sharing her wisdom with people from different backgrounds to find their Inner Peace and Happiness. With more than 20 years of study and practice of Personal Growth coupled with more than 10 years experience in professional teaching gives her the ability to share her ‘Secrets to Inner Peace’ in a Simple, Easy and Practical way.

Research shows that more than 95% of people lead their lives with worry. Don’t let this happen to you! Get your FREE copy of her Special Report “7 MASTER KEYS TO SOLVE THE WORRY" now.

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{ 51 comments… read them below or add one }

Gray August 5, 2012

Thanks for this enlightening blog. The most insightful portion was this:

When you grow spiritually and emotionally, the need to gossip falls away naturally. As when the ability to be compassionate increases, the demeaning intimate and personal details of someone else’s life will not make us feel any better or smarter. It will not matter.

I have found that SO true in my own life. Somehow (through therapy, thoughts, talking this out, and prayer) I have been able to seriously curtail my addiction to gossip. What strikes me most is that the information about others now just seems irrelevant–none of my business. It’s so much better to wish a person well, think about what they are going through, rather than attacking, and jumping into the fray. Thanks so this post. You’ve given a lot on which to reflect.

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

This is such a beautiful comment, Gray. Gossip affects us in a negative way. How wonderful to get away from this poisonous habit. Thank you so much for sharing this with others ~ it is amazing, you stopped by!

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Deone Higgs August 5, 2012

Beautifully put, Solvita. I too, was a devoted lover of gossip. It almost came second nature for me. I even had a cute little name for it… I would call them, “cables.” “Girl, I have some cables for you.” Or, “Have you heard any good cables, lately?” I was obsessed. It was nothing for me to call up someone, who I typically knew would gladly join in with me, and we’d stay on the phone for hours talking about other people’s mistakes, shortcomings, and failures.

It wasn’t until I begin questioning the direction my life was heading ( after my mother passed away) that I was able to get honest with myself about the changes that were in need of taking place in my own life. In my getting busy and working on bettering myself, I found that I had little time left to spend on what other’s were and were not doing.

I was able to notice the damage that gossiping was causing me and others connected to me, as well as how gossip was contributing to other ongoing problems in my life. In taking a look within, and changing my perception about myself and the world around me, I was able to begin acknowledging and changing many other unproductive practices and behaviors that were familiar to me. Not only that, but I became better able to see the behavior in others and remove myself before they even noticed I was there in the first place. :)

I believe that those who are constantly challenging themselves to be better individuals, know the importance and value of their time, resources, and use of energy. They know that their time and energy are resources that they’ve been given as gifts for them to use wisely. Choosing to practice or participate in non-beneficial gossip is a waste of all three – our time, resources, and energy.

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

WOW… it made me smile; about ‘cables’… well you are so right Deone! It is waist of our time, resources and energy. Thank you so much ~ I appreciate your insightful comment.

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Alexandra McAllister August 7, 2012

What an inspirational article, Solvita! You’ve shown how damaging gossip can be! As your mentioned: “Before you know it, the story starts to live the lie on its own. ” It is true and I’ve seen it! There are so many words of wisdom in your article! Another one that stands out is: “When you are positive, happy and at your core peace your success sores like never before, as you are supported from the Universe and in harmony with nature.” Thank you for sharing! You are beautiful!

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

You are so kind, Alexandra! Thank you so much ~ it is wonderful you stopped by! :)

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Olga Hermans August 7, 2012

You came up with a very powerful topic; gossip. We all do it or have done it. You know, when we agree on something somebody else is saying about somebody, we are guilty. It is a very difficult thing that brings a lot of harm to relationships. I am glad you brought it to the table.

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

Thank you, Olga! It is as you say… it brings a lot of harm and we have the ability to make a shift and change it.

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Barbara Peters August 7, 2012

Very nice Solvita. Gossip is a negative force in your life and will snowball. I love how you have put this out step by step. Gossip is damaging to both you and the person you are talking about.

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

Thank you, Barbara! It is an honour to see you here, I appreciate your comment.

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elizabeth August 7, 2012

Solvita, wonderful post! I had a problem spending time with a person that always had negative things to say about people. I was so happy when she let go of it and started only saying positive thing or nothing. We have such a warm relationship now!

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

This is amazing, Liz! We feel so amazing in a relationship, when we can talk about much more meaningful things in life and join the higher, positive energy. :)

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Martha Giffen August 7, 2012

Such an enlightening post! Gossip hurts. No matter if you are on the giving or the receiving end. Why stir up negativity? It really serves no purpose and can injure deep. Thanks for your insights!

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

Thank you, Martha! It is wonderful you stopped by. :)

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Jamie August 8, 2012

I’ve never been a gossiper. I much prefer the truth from the person telling me the story from their mouth only!

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

That is such a wise place to be. We all have our own perspective… People like to change the ‘story’, based on their perception. Thank you so much for stopping by, it is awesome to have you here.

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Sherie August 8, 2012

Another great post, Solvita. Yes, there is a negative impact and a negative energy to gossip…I hadn’t thought of it in those terms before and you are right, we have the power to stop gossip in its tracks and we should.

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

Thank you, Sherie! We all have the power to stop it, only by becoming aware of this happening, we can change.

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Maria Stefanopoulos August 8, 2012

Love your post Solvita!, they say that ” If others gossip with you about someone, they can gossip about you” It’s so true that It is important to open up to someone you can trust, as it helps to release negative suppressed energy, reduce stress, anxiety and depression. Thanks for sharing :) hugs

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

Thank you Maria… I can only agree. It is sooo important to have someone to be there for you. At the same time we can be open, when we feel secure and protected. :) hugs

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motherhoodinsights August 8, 2012

Like this post Solvita, I personally like to get some few good friends and real whom I can trust and share some secret, and to respect my privacy…just follow the golden rules ” Don’t do unto others what you don’t want to do unto you” I think that works :) hugs

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

Love that rule… Thank you so much for sharing and so happy to see you here! :)hugs

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Carolyn Hughesc August 8, 2012

A great post Sovita that reminds us how damaging gossip can be. I love your question to ask “Is this what I’m about to share in any way giving to or taking away from life?” I know that gossip isn’t doing any thing of any good for anyone!

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

Thank you, Carolyn! So true!

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Catherine Doucette August 8, 2012

Good reminder… and what we focus on grows, so let’s celebrate the wonderful news of our friends and colleagues.

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Lisa Birnesser August 8, 2012

Great post, Solvita. It really brings to light how damaging one mention of gossip can be to everyone. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!

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Meryl Hershey Beck August 9, 2012

Thanks for the great reminders. As I read the old words came rushing back to my brain,
“If you don’t have something nice to say (about a person), don’t say anything at all.”

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Steve August 9, 2012

Friendly gossips are ok but the problem is that most people do not realize when a friendly gossip turns into a malicious one. We get carried over in a conversation and end up maligning others. We do not know where to stop once we start gossiping.

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Nancy Tierney August 9, 2012

There’s a guideline in the Buddhist religion called “skillful speech” which basically means that one’s speech should be kind, free of gossip, and helpful. But gossip includes talking about anyone who isn’t present, not even to say something positive. A teacher of mine took on this guideline and found that 95% of his daily chit-chat was eliminated!

Gossip can be so unconscious on our part because it’s so “acceptable” in daily conversation these days. But there is so much to be learned by shutting our mouths and speaking only about what is here now, in this present moment.

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

WOW.. love this, Nancy. Yes, when we can eliminate gossip, we free up our positive energy and so can use it in so many useful ways. Thank you so much for your insightful comment.

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Susan Preston August 9, 2012

Love the audio and article, Solvita! You brought up some great points, especially about when we gossip that we are putting out negative energy! “When we connect to the negative energy of gossip, we act from emotions, irrational, unreasonable and so limit our ability to thrive and succeed.” So very true. Thanks for sharing your great wisdom and knowledge.

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

Thank you Susan, it is amazing to see you here. Negative energy is what stops us from any success in life. It is good to know this, so we can enjoy our life’s journey and fulfil our destiny.

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Johan August 10, 2012

The media thrives on gossips. We love to read them in papers and watch them in TV shows. We simply long to hear those juicy stories about celebrities and politicians. Maligning others gives us a strange happiness.

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

Absolutely, how would media be able to sell the NEWS? This is what fuels our EGO, which thrives on feeling better, stronger, more powerful… especially finding out about other people misfortune. It is a very short lived confidence. It is not serving our higher good and success in any way. Thank you Johan, it is awesome you stopped by. :)

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Jelson August 10, 2012

We do not realize that gossiping becomes a habit. We start enjoying it too much and do not leave out our close friends. Gossiping makes us think only about criticizing others. It restricts our thinking process and in the process we become less productive and incapable of thinking big or noble.

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

So true, Jelson, we become less productive… . Thank you for your comment. :)

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Andy August 10, 2012

People who love to gossip attract similar minded friends. Actually we should not call them friends as they do not think good about us and are only there to gossip. You can never depend on them at times of crisis. What’s the point in keeping such company?

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Solvita Bennett August 11, 2012

Yes, Andy. We can learn our lessons the hard way. We can’t control other people, however we have a choice and this is great news. We can stop the gossip in its tracks; we are ABLE to do it. Appreciate you stopped by and left a comment. :)

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Marie Leslie August 10, 2012

What a lovely and well-written post, Solvita. I am not a fan of gossip and I do try to avoid listening or spreading it. I have learned that everyone has a story and that we are rarely privileged to know all of it; gossip generally takes only the most titillating or salacious parts of the story and pulls them out of context–and that’s just way too much negative energy and information for me. Even good news can be gossip when it’s not handled kindly and with care.

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lisa frederiksen August 10, 2012

Beautifully stated, Solvita. As you wrote, “There is only one question to ask: ‘Is this what I’m about to share in any way giving to or taking away from life?’” I found this statement of yours to be true, myself as well, “When you grow spiritually and emotionally, the need to gossip falls away naturally.” Thank you for this wonderful post.

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Micky August 10, 2012

I had a neighbor who used to visit me often. Her only concern was other neighbors. She used to discuss about who is going out with whom and whose children are taking drugs etc. After a point I got so pissed off that I stopped talking to her.

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George August 10, 2012

I have a colleague who always loves to gossip. His only interest is to discuss others’ personal matters. Once he was caught discussing about his boss and got a good firing from the seniors. He has stopped since then.

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Kim August 10, 2012

People who do not have anything higher to achieve spend their time in gossiping. They do not know how to use their time productively. They spend their days gossiping and find pleasure in it.

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Ronald August 10, 2012

I think that people who are jealous of others resort to gossiping. They cannot stand success of others and smear them. They feel that by gossiping they can belittle the success achieved by these people.

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Daniel August 10, 2012

Gossiping leads to a lot of negative feeling inside. It restricts you to feel good about others. It does not allow you to appreciate people and their achievements. It also harms the mind and makes it only look for faults.

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Erwin August 10, 2012

To give up the habit of gossiping you have to first become aware of it. You have to stop when you start indulging in it. You should also give up the company of people who engage in it. By keeping good company you can kick the habit of gossiping.

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Sharon O'Day August 13, 2012

What a powerful question, Solvita: “Is this that I’m about to share in any way giving to or taking away from life?” Thanks for this valuable article!

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TopSecret April 9, 2013

Negative gossips by co-workers completely destroy my life. Even my supervisor loves to gossip behind my back. I am a hard worker, a good guy and a quiet guy. What will I do next? I will quit my job without a notice.

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Solvita Bennett April 22, 2013

I know it can be very hard… I just recently posted this message on my FB page: … the more you do and are, the more criticism you are going to receive amongst a lot of praise of course. It is a fact. There will be plenty of people who are in need to feel bigger by criticizing others. 😉 … Is it easy for you to let it go? I still find it challenging myself. … Yet when I know what is the truth, I keep my mind focused exclusively on the TRUTH and nothing else. Most of the criticism is just smoke and mirrors (illusion), there can be also a valuable message for us, when it is constructive. The key is to know what is valuable and what not. Just remember… people criticize out of fear (which is the base of ALL judgment), fear is the opposite of the Truth (love). ♥ " Take care and you know… you are alive and as long you will matter you will find different opinions about you. The most important opinion about you though, is YOURS! 😉

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TammyChristine August 8, 2015

I have so many rumours going around that aren’t even remotely true!!! Most of them are started by a good friend., so people tend to believe it. I have told this person deep personal issues and he put them out there like its was a joke!!! This has happened all my my life. Usually it’s because I walk away from a friendship when I start seeing these signs…They don’t like that, that is when the rumours start..
At first, I would try to prove myself and get angry…I realized that just sucked all my energy on it..AND that’s exactly what they want!!
This is what I do now…I simply ignore it…. I know who I AM…MY TRUE FRIENDS KNOW WHO I AM, and most IMPORTANT, God knows who I am….I don’t retaliate. If it shows it doesn’t bother you, people will eventually know its a lie.
You have to remember, WHO cares what people think? If you being talked about,,,,you must be pretty popular!!!
Don’t even give it any thought…..Live your life the fullest..Don’t let those lies become the centre of you…Let it go!! Ignore it and it will eventually stop…But, you cannot be a hypocrite and do the same to other people. What goes around comes around…If you have to say something about somebody, make it a positive thing. If you know what they are saying is wrong…Stand up and say something….That will surely stop that rumour..and it will make you look good….

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